"Life is too tragic for sadness: Let us rejoice." --Edward Abbey
My new friend asked me today whether I was fond of Ed. Abbey. My brain reacted strangely to that question. Of course I thought. Then the memory. Of dad, his feet, his hiking boots, his gators. He was just a body. At that moment, I had thought about edward abbey. I thought "Dad, Abbey would be jealous. God damnit!" I debated telling my friend about that memory. People don't know what to say when I share the memories that surface so, so much. I like talking about it and it is healing. SO I finally want to write again. And I want to continue to share my story.
I miss dad, but I have been getting out into nature oh So much! and I love it and just today I went hiking with my neighbor and friend up the ridge behind out houses (crazy dog madness! my dog ran away. twice. and then we found a crazy lost dog... couldn't catch him...even tried the whole food thing. eventually I was able to grab him though and he was super friendly--just a bit of a nut. His daddy was glad to have him back. And I found mack, eventually, all um... 4 times? he took off after squirrels or deer or birds and didn't come back for a long time... oops. I'm glad to have him back now.
I miss him so much. I talk to friends--old and new-- here in durango and they talk about adventure with their parents. And I miss him. I want to be able to go camping and skiing and enjoy beautiful pristine wonderful earth--with my dad. with my family. But I have to think like dad thought, what can Cheryle and I still do together and enjoy? Mom is healing fast and doing well, but I can't WAIT for us to start biking again--i really enjoy riding with her and am so glad that we can do a sport together.
That is how I am dealing now. I love nature. I have been playing in the sun and the glorious outdoors. and its addictive. and wonderful and natural and healthy to be active and to be outside. I love durango. I forgot how sunny and amazing it is here.
Thinking bout abbey a lot now. And I crave adventure. THank you dad for that. Now I shall venture out to explore the world and I will carry him with me in spirit and I treasure all of our wonderful memories out there together. And all the wonderful memories I have with both of them and all of the adventures I will have with mom.
"But love of the wilderness is more than a hunger for what is always beyond reach; it is also an expression of loyalty to the earth which bore us and sustains us, the only home we shall ever know, the only paradise we ever need - if only we had eyes to see." --Ed Abbey
