Finally: Reunited with words

And yet, there is only
One great thing
The only thing.
To live to see in huts and on journeys
The great day that dawns,
And the light that fills the world
-from an Inuit song




I have been meaning to start up my blog again for so long. Well now, I find myself with a broken foot, unable to drive, unable to walk--crutching around instead. And I realized I must return to writing. But this time I am returning with a renewed energy. I want to share my story as it has evolved. As I have returned again and again to a source of deep inner strength cultivated through the loss of my father. Everything I have experienced has prepared me for this moment. And though at times i forget and feel weak, vulnerable, my smaller self. This journey, I am discovering Me. Authentic Me. And every day is a new unfolding.
My whole experience of life is like the lotus flower unfolding beauty with every petal.

Life is crazy. such a gift that we so easily take for granted. precious. it’s true that the body is a temple. the temple. in its most pure and organic form i believe. we find divine love in our hearts. more than anywhere else. The heart is the place where Spirit comes to meet us. divinity within.

i’ve decided to look at my broken foot as a gift. now is the time to draw inward too practice more meditation and to write (finally returning to writing) it feels good to actually sit with myself and ask myself how I am feeling because it has been a while. although i miss running, this challenge is another opportunity for growth. I am developing more and more of a home yoga practice as that is all i can do. i am learning Pilates. and soon i hope i will be able to swim. then bike. and now is a time for reflection for healing--i think the universe is telling me that i need time to truly heal. to sit down! with myself in truth and ask myself how i am truly feeling. and write and feel my heart and to allow grief to move through me. finding freedom and that inner fountain of pure bliss that is free from grief and suffering. I connect with my heart and with the heart of the world as I share in the universal human experience of pain.

Pain, if we let it, as we move through it, is our greatest teacher. It opens us up for a greater capacity for compassion. empathy. love and understanding. I am trying to allow my experiences to be my teachers and everyday I grow. doors are always opening around us. doors of opportunity for growth learning loving. we must learn to be mindful and pay attention. I want to be present and experience every gift life has to offer me. although so many times gifts accompany pain.

I will always carry my father in my heart most of all and I am so grateful for so many dear memories. such a wonderful man--i was so so lucky to have had him as my daddy. I cannot imagine a better father and he will always be my number one role model. He showered me with love and understanding and taught me so much about the world and my health and my soul. thank you dad for all the wonderful gifts you’ve given me.

and of course i have grown so much from his death and the experience of losing him. I am so strong. And i continue to dive deeper and deeper into my spiritual journey. into my soul. i ask myself questions i never would have thought to ask before. i feel deeply connected to the world. because part of life is pain. deep pain and suffering and in this very human experience i feel alive and connected to the pulse of the whole earth. my pain is shared by so many who grieve. nature herself must be grieving the destruction of her skin.